Everybody is just a stranger, but that's the danger in going my own way

You know the scene in Heat where Robert DeNiro says he lives his life so that he can leave it in 30 seconds if he feels the heat around the corner? I don't know what "heat" I've been worried about, but I've lived my life the same way. I've moved in suitcases rather than moving vans and have always felt a sense of freedom in keeping as many doors to the future open for as long as possible.

But all that is changing now. I bought a couch, and not just any couch, but a foldout couch that weighs a million pounds. I will need movers to move that couch, and it was too expensive to ever leave behind. And I'm going into a profession where you have to be licensed on a state-by-state basis in order to practice. Come this fall, I will (hopefully) be licensed in two states, which leaves 48 domestic states and the rest of world as locations I can't just pick up and move to on a whim. And I have cats. I always figured if the "heat" was around the corder, I'd just leave everything but them, and imagined stealing away in the middle of the night out the back door with the cat carriers slung over my shoulders. Having traveled with them more than any person should ever have to travel with their pets, I now know that they lack stealth and would surely give us away. So it seems that I'm going to Philadelphia for the foreseeable future, which is both comforting, because I've come to the conclusion that I've moved enough, and scary, because if it gets hard my flight or fight response will be limited to only one of those options.

But I can't help but be excited about a new place. Moving is always an opportunity to re-evaluate priorities; what am I willing to pack and bring with me and what am I willing to leave behind? The Romanian jeans that I had to try on in the middle of March in an outdoor market behind a mostly see-through curtain? It's time to let those go. But my box of martisor pins? Those are coming with. My pile of Runner's World magazines? Those will be thrown away. But my pile of magazines with Johnny on the cover? No question.

And what about my fear of new places and my worry that living in one place too long will make me feel stuck and stagnant? I think I might leave those behind as well. But the action figures? Those are non-negotiable.